Lifeforce

And so the bonds forged long ago in battles where we fought side by side still exist, and despite the distance, the time, and what has come between us, I still find myself unable to change how I feel about you.

I have no idea why I feel so strongly about you, or this friendship. It just comes naturally - to care and to love. It defies all logic and sense; it's unpredictable. But yet as you slip away, I find myself getting lost and confused, not knowing what the next turn has in store for me, only hoping that one day you'll be back by my side, fighting alongside me again, and finding solace in the knowledge that perhaps there is hope for a brighter and better day...

Yet at present, my lifeforce seems to be sapping, draining away, and there's nothing I can do about. Why is it that our lifeforces always seem to intertwine with another's? Why is it that the more I try to break away, it only results in the stark realisation that one cannot escape the fact that there is always the Other in our life. Our lives cannot exist as singularities, and we come to discover that we are dependent on Others - when they are present, we share our love, our needs, and in return we gain support and encouragement; we experience a sense of joy knowing that we'll walk through life with someone by our side, and when they are absent, we find solace in the solitude, and comfort in the fact that we are along, and we have time to ourselves. The lack of the Other is in fact, another form of its manifestation, if you look at it from a different perspective.

Here's to the goodbyes, the "I care about yous", the wake up calls, the "how are yous" and "are you alrights", the "goodnights" and "go to bed nows", but most of all, for showing me love, and teaching me how it is to love - requited; for showing me that it is possible to love and care, without fearing that anyone might betray you. Thank you for all you've done, for all the lessons learnt - in joy and in sorrow, just to know that you were by my side fighting my battles with me made me persevere and press on.

Here's to absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists...