It's the weekend, and school's cut short as Bio's been postponed to next Monday, and that frees more time for me to do work. It's going to pass me by really fast...
And in getting caught up in life, I feel I'm starting to care again; I'm starting to feel again; I'm starting to return to my former self. I feel like I can trust, love, believe in people again. But yet deep down, joy turns to skepticism - for how long have these things lasted and then caused my world to come crashing down. Why am I surrounded by perennial attempts at self-delusion; that as much as I can read others, I cannot understand myself. And indeed, that is the irony of my life, my identity.
Recent issues still bother me, and I know I'm not juggling my life well, and that perhaps very soon, the variables will start spinning faster than I can handle. And really, I know once again I'll be caught up in another maelstrom - lost and confused - trying to piece my life back together.
It's not cynicism from a young mind; it's a young mind that thinks too much, reads too much, knows too much. Chloe asked me yesterday, why couldn't I be happy and contented. I've been thinking about it. There's no definite answer. I have things so many people would want, yet, there's a general sense of discontentment. There's so much that ties me down; holds me back...
I think I better get back to my project, and stop thinking too much.
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