Once again, I'm stuck in another situation, not of my doing, which results in further aggrevation of an already annoyed Isaac.
Perhaps it was true, maybe it isn't. But so what? Does it have to go to such an extent?! Frankly, I'm hoping it's the latter. And I'm surrounded by such idiots who blow things totally out of proportion. I'm feeling murderous now. Really.
Sarah's right. Everyone's just being childish, and maybe I should just ignore it. But surely one can expect more from people who are supposedly more intellectually adapt. It does happen in primary school, but we're in a tertiary institution. I'm not denying the existence of such things, but surely it is not on such a large scale.
I'm now removed from everyone, sitting at the stairway alone. Maybe it's getting to me, and I don't know why. It's just so frustrating really. It's seemingly harmless, but it's not. It does drain you.
Go get a life. Really. I'm so glad it's the weekend.
You know, this stupid issue is just so...well, typical of people my age - teenyboppers. I can't seem to talk to anyone who would listen and not tell me something stupid.
The past just haunts me now. Ways to escape reality have been cut off, and there's no turning back.
A tear trickles down // the people walk by.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Leaving or Gone?
Once again I'm forced to confront issues that I've swept under the carpet. I thought they were laid to rest, for good. But the sudden resurgence of guilt weighs ever so heavy on my conscience, and I cannot but stop to ponder on what has resurfaced.
Maybe I thought that certain chapters of my life were over, and that it would be okay and move on and start afresh. But once again, I realised when it came to the crossroads; when I had to make a choice, I fall short of redemption. I'm still stuck in the past. There's a leap of faith I'm not willing to take. There's a bond that holds me back; there are people I still hold on to.
The mere mention of something in class today set everything in motion, leading up to a near outburst and breakdown. Maybe it's the culmination of so many events, so many facades that slowly wear me out. Maybe I try to act amused when you tell me such things. Maybe it's all just for a laugh, and like you claim, "highly inprobable". Yet, it irks me - unresolved issues resurrect and haunt me again.
I'm not ready to move on. So just stop already. You people probably will never read this, and may never know, and I probably will never speak out against it; like Kerry once said, it's a rites of passage. But maybe people should know when they rub salt into a wound, especially an open one.
I took the step to admit: my life isn't perfect, as much as it may seem.
Again I do wonder, the sacrifices I make - are they worthwhile? Is what is right necessarily good? We claim to do things in the best interests of others; and back then I should have been selfish.
Questions ... of progress
Oh let's go back to the start
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would this hard
Take me back to the start
Maybe I thought that certain chapters of my life were over, and that it would be okay and move on and start afresh. But once again, I realised when it came to the crossroads; when I had to make a choice, I fall short of redemption. I'm still stuck in the past. There's a leap of faith I'm not willing to take. There's a bond that holds me back; there are people I still hold on to.
The mere mention of something in class today set everything in motion, leading up to a near outburst and breakdown. Maybe it's the culmination of so many events, so many facades that slowly wear me out. Maybe I try to act amused when you tell me such things. Maybe it's all just for a laugh, and like you claim, "highly inprobable". Yet, it irks me - unresolved issues resurrect and haunt me again.
I'm not ready to move on. So just stop already. You people probably will never read this, and may never know, and I probably will never speak out against it; like Kerry once said, it's a rites of passage. But maybe people should know when they rub salt into a wound, especially an open one.
I took the step to admit: my life isn't perfect, as much as it may seem.
Again I do wonder, the sacrifices I make - are they worthwhile? Is what is right necessarily good? We claim to do things in the best interests of others; and back then I should have been selfish.
Questions ... of progress
Oh let's go back to the start
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would this hard
Take me back to the start
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Cross the Line
Perhaps once in a while, it's good to take a step back and look where one is. It provides a check is this fast-paced world. We stop and reflect, and think: is what we're doing right? Is it what we want to do? Should we be doing what we've been doing?
I think recent events have caused me to take a break, and look at the larger picture: that of how I'm slowly but surely losing and letting go. Do I want to? Was it right to make that choice? Did I have to be that extreme? Should I have stopped, and not continued? Was it right?
Perhaps I should say sorry. I went on, without realising and reading into the subtilities; what you said did not happen, thus I disregarded it.
But whatever the case, I'm sorry.
And it all ends here.
I think recent events have caused me to take a break, and look at the larger picture: that of how I'm slowly but surely losing and letting go. Do I want to? Was it right to make that choice? Did I have to be that extreme? Should I have stopped, and not continued? Was it right?
Perhaps I should say sorry. I went on, without realising and reading into the subtilities; what you said did not happen, thus I disregarded it.
But whatever the case, I'm sorry.
And it all ends here.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Responsibility
I am pissed, and probably will remain that way till the issue is sorted out.
Being the person in the middle suddenly seems like the worse position I can be in. Why do I have to take responsibility for someone else's actions. In fact, it's everyone's actions.
It's not the easiest task distributing papers to people, especially during the elective weeks. And things are messy, and things get missing. I've done my part, what more do you want really? Am I supposed to beg people to hand their work in on time? Is that my responsibility too? Am I to be blamed if someone hands in his work late? Is it my fault that people don't hand in work? Is it my fault that people lose their work?
I'm becoming the scapegoat for all that nonsense. No, I'm not the problem. No other subject distributes and collects as much work. And besides, the class is too individualised, as compared to last year, as I was discussing with Melody over lunch.
So really, I don't care if I'm stepping down. I don't care if you people have to do 8 more articles, or get a big fat zero for the Wells assignment. Why? It's not my fault; my conscience is clear. Blame those who lose their work instead of blaming the rep really. I've had enough. I'd like to see who wants to replace me and do a better job. It's not that easy, despite the claims that it is. This isn't SS, where all Chao Chia asks is for a stack of paper per term. I collect the journals fortnightly, hand up dozens of assignments for the class, and other administrative nonsense.
This is the end really. When are people going to start taking responsibility for their own lives instead of perennially pushing the blame to others? When are people ever going to take responsibility for their own learning and their own lives? I cannot be bothered already. This is breaking point. So grow up, you think you people are flawless? Think again. Think hard and long. Use that grey matter in your head, lest it decays and rots.
Being the person in the middle suddenly seems like the worse position I can be in. Why do I have to take responsibility for someone else's actions. In fact, it's everyone's actions.
It's not the easiest task distributing papers to people, especially during the elective weeks. And things are messy, and things get missing. I've done my part, what more do you want really? Am I supposed to beg people to hand their work in on time? Is that my responsibility too? Am I to be blamed if someone hands in his work late? Is it my fault that people don't hand in work? Is it my fault that people lose their work?
I'm becoming the scapegoat for all that nonsense. No, I'm not the problem. No other subject distributes and collects as much work. And besides, the class is too individualised, as compared to last year, as I was discussing with Melody over lunch.
So really, I don't care if I'm stepping down. I don't care if you people have to do 8 more articles, or get a big fat zero for the Wells assignment. Why? It's not my fault; my conscience is clear. Blame those who lose their work instead of blaming the rep really. I've had enough. I'd like to see who wants to replace me and do a better job. It's not that easy, despite the claims that it is. This isn't SS, where all Chao Chia asks is for a stack of paper per term. I collect the journals fortnightly, hand up dozens of assignments for the class, and other administrative nonsense.
This is the end really. When are people going to start taking responsibility for their own lives instead of perennially pushing the blame to others? When are people ever going to take responsibility for their own learning and their own lives? I cannot be bothered already. This is breaking point. So grow up, you think you people are flawless? Think again. Think hard and long. Use that grey matter in your head, lest it decays and rots.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Identity
Who am I?
Everytime I think back and reflect, there's just so many questions left unanswered,and new ones that keep surfacing. And so often I'm left in doubt - is this who I am? What was I supposed to be? What am I supposed to be now? Who am I supposed to be? (note the intricate difference)
Charlena told me that in life, we all have various self-defining moments, and I think this is one of them. I feel as if I've lost the reigns of control, and I'm just riding the tide, and hoping to cruise through it. There's this sense that I'm not in control, and other things at present are dictating my life - situations, circumstances, the like.
I think that I've quite a bit of catching up to do. I've been so caught up with life, that I forget to slow down and enjoy it. Wrote my narrative "Speed" across the holidays, and the story was so apt; it ties in so much with Crash.
But as for now, I seem to have lost myself. Maybe it's time for another process of discovery. But the irony of life is this: the more you construct an identity for yourself, the more you question - is that who I want to be? Is that who I'm meant to be?
My destiny lies in You.
Everytime I think back and reflect, there's just so many questions left unanswered,and new ones that keep surfacing. And so often I'm left in doubt - is this who I am? What was I supposed to be? What am I supposed to be now? Who am I supposed to be? (note the intricate difference)
Charlena told me that in life, we all have various self-defining moments, and I think this is one of them. I feel as if I've lost the reigns of control, and I'm just riding the tide, and hoping to cruise through it. There's this sense that I'm not in control, and other things at present are dictating my life - situations, circumstances, the like.
I think that I've quite a bit of catching up to do. I've been so caught up with life, that I forget to slow down and enjoy it. Wrote my narrative "Speed" across the holidays, and the story was so apt; it ties in so much with Crash.
But as for now, I seem to have lost myself. Maybe it's time for another process of discovery. But the irony of life is this: the more you construct an identity for yourself, the more you question - is that who I want to be? Is that who I'm meant to be?
My destiny lies in You.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Four Is A Common Factor
I can't believe I'm so terribly slow!
This is so amusing!
We're all linked by fours!
This is so amusing!
We're all linked by fours!
Change, or is it?
School reopens, and nothing much has changed.
Yes, there are the changes on the surface - new classrooms, new blocks, new timetables. But nothing significant has changed. I don't see what the hype is for. 5 minutes off the periods isn't that big an issue; it's almost the same as 1 hour periods. The only difference lies in the difficulty remembering what time each period is. A round sixty minutes was so much more convenient.
Less than a month till I'm sixteen. I get to play pool legally at last!
I guess Marcus is right. The ennui is setting in, if it hasn't already. There's this feeling that everything that surrounds is mundane. I think I'm running on highs - certain things that get me going for a while, before I return back to this state. So what's new? What's the next challenge, the next mountain to climb?
I've two bets I intend to win in April; the difference between them twelve days.
I guess I'm still trudging along till then.
Yes, there are the changes on the surface - new classrooms, new blocks, new timetables. But nothing significant has changed. I don't see what the hype is for. 5 minutes off the periods isn't that big an issue; it's almost the same as 1 hour periods. The only difference lies in the difficulty remembering what time each period is. A round sixty minutes was so much more convenient.
Less than a month till I'm sixteen. I get to play pool legally at last!
I guess Marcus is right. The ennui is setting in, if it hasn't already. There's this feeling that everything that surrounds is mundane. I think I'm running on highs - certain things that get me going for a while, before I return back to this state. So what's new? What's the next challenge, the next mountain to climb?
I've two bets I intend to win in April; the difference between them twelve days.
I guess I'm still trudging along till then.
Friday, March 17, 2006
Quarterlife Crisis
Indeed, midlife is occuring faster nowadays, so much so that I believe I'm going through a quarterlife crisis.
Looking back once again, things have changed so much this year, even though less than three months have passed. And I guess I was all too caught up in settling, adjusting, that I failed to notice what's happened. School has changed quite a bit, in terms of relationships. Marcus rightly comments that "new alliances have been formed this year", and this shift is quite telling of the nomadic instincts of most teenagers when it comes to relationships. We get what we want from a relationship, and we leave after we get it, searching for greener and newer pastures. It is indeed, quite sad.
And when Melody and I were walking around town yesterday pretending to be tourists and wandering around the Esplanade, the sights we saw were just shocking. Almost every teenage couple was engaging in some intimate act (holding hands/hugging does not constitute this), and we were discussing how everything is transient, and how kids could have made out 40 times before marriage, and later get married another 20 times.
It brings me to the point that I think I'm wasting my life and childhood away. It just struck me - 3 more years, and I'm no longer a teenager. I'll soon be expected to act and behave like an adult (though there are alot more negative connotations tied in to being one).
I suddenly feel like giving up my life. Really. Last night I dreamt I wanted to commit suicide and ran away from home and found a place where I was left alone. Maybe I should not read too much into it; the discontentment grows. Why do I continue doing what I do? I think I'm doing it without a sense of purpose and direction, and I believe I'd be better off not doing it at all. I'm still waiting for that answer. I won't search for it. You tell me why I'm still here giving so much and getting drained all the time. They once told me the joy and satisfaction is the only reward you need; that reward now seems a distant future. Why do I care really? I don't believe in blind faith, I do question what I do. Ironically, I was told to have faith on Wednesday night.
"You will grow from faith to faith."
I'm so close to giving up this life. A three week vacation is much overdue. Someone asked me today, what happened to the Isaac that would come to church and cell irregardless of work. Work is the excuse given to avoid something I don't see a point in being a part of. I think I'm skipping LCell for the second fortnight in a row. I don't see why I'm obligated to go down really. It's a privilege after all; one which I'm declining blatantly and openly.
Don't tell me to get my life back on track. Leave me alone. And I realise I can conjure these vibes that scare people off when they want to come over and talk to me. It was really evident on Wednesday. Someone walks over, and I think, "just leave me alone" and somehow the person just turns back or walks away.
Oh and one last thing, I hate it when you try to understand me really. Face it, you don't and never will. Reading this doesn't give you more insights into my life, and it never will. There's so much more to me than you will ever understand because you fail to take the time to see.
Looking back once again, things have changed so much this year, even though less than three months have passed. And I guess I was all too caught up in settling, adjusting, that I failed to notice what's happened. School has changed quite a bit, in terms of relationships. Marcus rightly comments that "new alliances have been formed this year", and this shift is quite telling of the nomadic instincts of most teenagers when it comes to relationships. We get what we want from a relationship, and we leave after we get it, searching for greener and newer pastures. It is indeed, quite sad.
And when Melody and I were walking around town yesterday pretending to be tourists and wandering around the Esplanade, the sights we saw were just shocking. Almost every teenage couple was engaging in some intimate act (holding hands/hugging does not constitute this), and we were discussing how everything is transient, and how kids could have made out 40 times before marriage, and later get married another 20 times.
It brings me to the point that I think I'm wasting my life and childhood away. It just struck me - 3 more years, and I'm no longer a teenager. I'll soon be expected to act and behave like an adult (though there are alot more negative connotations tied in to being one).
I suddenly feel like giving up my life. Really. Last night I dreamt I wanted to commit suicide and ran away from home and found a place where I was left alone. Maybe I should not read too much into it; the discontentment grows. Why do I continue doing what I do? I think I'm doing it without a sense of purpose and direction, and I believe I'd be better off not doing it at all. I'm still waiting for that answer. I won't search for it. You tell me why I'm still here giving so much and getting drained all the time. They once told me the joy and satisfaction is the only reward you need; that reward now seems a distant future. Why do I care really? I don't believe in blind faith, I do question what I do. Ironically, I was told to have faith on Wednesday night.
"You will grow from faith to faith."
I'm so close to giving up this life. A three week vacation is much overdue. Someone asked me today, what happened to the Isaac that would come to church and cell irregardless of work. Work is the excuse given to avoid something I don't see a point in being a part of. I think I'm skipping LCell for the second fortnight in a row. I don't see why I'm obligated to go down really. It's a privilege after all; one which I'm declining blatantly and openly.
Don't tell me to get my life back on track. Leave me alone. And I realise I can conjure these vibes that scare people off when they want to come over and talk to me. It was really evident on Wednesday. Someone walks over, and I think, "just leave me alone" and somehow the person just turns back or walks away.
Oh and one last thing, I hate it when you try to understand me really. Face it, you don't and never will. Reading this doesn't give you more insights into my life, and it never will. There's so much more to me than you will ever understand because you fail to take the time to see.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Friday, March 10, 2006
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Self-Awareness
What is wrong with everyone really? Half the youth ministry in church is obsessed with this Johari Window nonsense. Why? I have no idea. It could be that they're just doing it for fun, or perhaps they're intent on knowing themselves better. I hope it's the former, as the latter would be a really stupid way to go about the matter.
How seriously can you take 5-6 words that are chosen to describe someone? So what if someone thinks you're vibrant or energetic? Does it mean you are? Or is it just another facade we put up as a part of life?
Our identity is constructed partially on what others think of us, but so often this has been confused with what others know of us. Perception and truth - two entirely different ways of viewing things. How accurate is it? Will we be led to believe perceptions as truth? Will we lose ourselves in the process?
I just feel the whole thing is ludicruous and really should not be taken seriously, but rather, with a pinch of salt.
And I prefer this version. I wonder why...
Oh well. Lang Arts make up today was quite boring. I stared at the word Nietzsche smiling to myself the whole lesson. "God is dead, and we have killed him" sounds all the more apt in today's context. Granted it was spoken by a madman, but madness is genius reconceived (the Aviator). Why is he Marcus' favourite philosopher? That's more in common between us...
How seriously can you take 5-6 words that are chosen to describe someone? So what if someone thinks you're vibrant or energetic? Does it mean you are? Or is it just another facade we put up as a part of life?
Our identity is constructed partially on what others think of us, but so often this has been confused with what others know of us. Perception and truth - two entirely different ways of viewing things. How accurate is it? Will we be led to believe perceptions as truth? Will we lose ourselves in the process?
I just feel the whole thing is ludicruous and really should not be taken seriously, but rather, with a pinch of salt.
And I prefer this version. I wonder why...
Oh well. Lang Arts make up today was quite boring. I stared at the word Nietzsche smiling to myself the whole lesson. "God is dead, and we have killed him" sounds all the more apt in today's context. Granted it was spoken by a madman, but madness is genius reconceived (the Aviator). Why is he Marcus' favourite philosopher? That's more in common between us...
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Ghosts
Taking a break from Shakespeare to post.
Just came back from catching Rumour Has it with Melody. The show was rather good - sexual innuendoes aside, the themes were really poignant, or so I felt. (Testicular trauma and such. The innuendoes are all really subtle; it just goes to show how corrupted I am.)
"I guess the two of us were just chasing after ghosts."
That holds ever so true in my life. I guess all this while, I have been chasing ghosts; ghosts of the past, ghosts of the semblance of what certain people were. And I've come to realise, that like ghosts, those memories are from another plane and will never become a reality in the one I'm in. Things that are lost and gone are that, and that will not change. All this while I wasn't holding on to people, but rather, the ghosts of them; what they were, what they meant. I think it's time to let go.
Another line that struck me, and perhaps this is a little sappy and cheesy:
"It's not that I cannot live without you; I can live without you. But I choose to live with you."
That comes towards the end of the movie. And yes, sometimes it is not that we cannot live without the person, but it is rather more a want than a need. This just proves it's time to let go again.
Just came back from catching Rumour Has it with Melody. The show was rather good - sexual innuendoes aside, the themes were really poignant, or so I felt. (Testicular trauma and such. The innuendoes are all really subtle; it just goes to show how corrupted I am.)
"I guess the two of us were just chasing after ghosts."
That holds ever so true in my life. I guess all this while, I have been chasing ghosts; ghosts of the past, ghosts of the semblance of what certain people were. And I've come to realise, that like ghosts, those memories are from another plane and will never become a reality in the one I'm in. Things that are lost and gone are that, and that will not change. All this while I wasn't holding on to people, but rather, the ghosts of them; what they were, what they meant. I think it's time to let go.
Another line that struck me, and perhaps this is a little sappy and cheesy:
"It's not that I cannot live without you; I can live without you. But I choose to live with you."
That comes towards the end of the movie. And yes, sometimes it is not that we cannot live without the person, but it is rather more a want than a need. This just proves it's time to let go again.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Technology Hates Me
I just realised my iBook requires $1299 to fix the stupid screen. My gosh.
I'm so getting another laptop or a new tablet PC.
I'm so getting another laptop or a new tablet PC.
Life
I'm really amused by the typical teenage interpretation of a larger than life concept - that of life itself. Most people try to liken it using metaphors, and so often it turns out hilarious. Here are some examples. (I am not making personal attacks, get this straight.)
1) We have Forrest Gump's infamous sophism. "Life is like a box of chocolates." Yeah right. Life is sweet? Life is dark or white? Life has nuts in it? Life melts? "You never know what you're going to get till you open it." If you had only one "duh?!", now would be a good time to use it.
2) "Life is like a package. You either take it or leave it." So you can 'take' life? Have you been watching too much Dodgeball? "Grab life by the balls." And you can leave life? Really? I only thought you could depart from it...
3) "Life never like a bed of roses." Hmmm. I can see why. Life is not red. Life doesn't smell good. Life doesn't have thorns. If you're fortunate enough to have a second "duh?!", please use it now.
Really. I don't see how people, especially in their teens, can attempt to philosophise about something that they fail to realise they can never grasp or grapple with. Perhaps it due to the Quest - one's journey to find one's purpose in life. It goes to show how lost people these days are, wandering through life without a purpose or direction.
I'm glad I've found mine.
1) We have Forrest Gump's infamous sophism. "Life is like a box of chocolates." Yeah right. Life is sweet? Life is dark or white? Life has nuts in it? Life melts? "You never know what you're going to get till you open it." If you had only one "duh?!", now would be a good time to use it.
2) "Life is like a package. You either take it or leave it." So you can 'take' life? Have you been watching too much Dodgeball? "Grab life by the balls." And you can leave life? Really? I only thought you could depart from it...
3) "Life never like a bed of roses." Hmmm. I can see why. Life is not red. Life doesn't smell good. Life doesn't have thorns. If you're fortunate enough to have a second "duh?!", please use it now.
Really. I don't see how people, especially in their teens, can attempt to philosophise about something that they fail to realise they can never grasp or grapple with. Perhaps it due to the Quest - one's journey to find one's purpose in life. It goes to show how lost people these days are, wandering through life without a purpose or direction.
I'm glad I've found mine.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Take Me To The Cross
The greatest love
I've ever known
Was when You died
The price You paid
The life You gave
Love's sacrifice
I am eternally grateful to You
I am completely abandoned to You
Lord I live for You
Lord I die for You
Take me
Take me to the Cross
When Your Blood shed for me
From my sin I am free
Take me
Take me to the Cross
I've ever known
Was when You died
The price You paid
The life You gave
Love's sacrifice
I am eternally grateful to You
I am completely abandoned to You
Lord I live for You
Lord I die for You
Take me
Take me to the Cross
When Your Blood shed for me
From my sin I am free
Take me
Take me to the Cross
Monday, February 27, 2006
Comedies
No, not Shax, it's Bronson!
1. I once:
loved a girl
2. Never in my life have I:
` loved a girl so much
3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then
can always make me smile:
`is the girl
4. High School is/was:
` all about the girl
5. When I'm nervous:
` i dream about the girl
6. The last time I cried was:
` when the girl failed her spelling test
7. If I were to get married RIGHT NOW my
bridesmaids/groomsmen would be:
` the parents of the girl
8. My hair is:
`the color of the pencilcase of the girl
9. My feet are:
` larger than the girl's
10. When I was 5:
` i just got to know the girl
11. Last Christmas:
` i asked santa claus to let the girl pass her future tests
12. When I turn my head left, I see :
` the girl
13. When I turn my head right, I see:
` still the girl
14. When I look down I see:
` the feet of the girl
15. The craziest recent event was:
` when i cried cos the girl failed her test
16. If I was a character on 'Friends' I'd be:
` joey but the girl has to star beside me as well
17. By this time next year:
` i hope santa claus made my wish on christmas come true and the girl will pass her test
19. I have a hard time understanding:
` how the girl failed her test
20. One time at a family gathering:
`i told my mom i'll marry the girl
21. You know I "like" you if:
`you failed the test just like that girl and i cry for you cos of that reason
22. If I won an award, the first person I'd thank is:
` God followed by the girl cos she inspired me not to fail in this award or she'll cry
23. Take my advice:
` Dun cry when a girl fails her test
24. My ideal breakfast is:
` eating cereals with the girl's face on it
25. If you visit my hometown:
` you can find statues of the girl everywhere
26. Where do you plan to visit anytime soon:
` the girl's hometown
27. Girls are:
` amazing creatures
28. I'd stop my wedding if:
` the girl called off the marriage due to her lousy test grades
29. The world could do without:
` tests which would lead the girl to fail it and me to cry for her
30. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than:
` wishing the girl would pass cos it'll never happen and i'll keep crying
31. Most recent thing you've bought yourself :
` lots of test papers so i can tutor the girl
32. Most recent thing someone else bought you:
` lots of boxes of tissues
33. My favorite time of day is:
` morning so i won't be disturbed by the news of the girl failing her test
34. My favorite store is:
` watsons(lots of tissue)
35. My favorite ringtone is:
` hearing my own sobs of exasperation
36. And by the way:
` this quiz has lots of questions
37. The last time I was high:
` was when the girl scored 50 out of 100
38. The person who I last talked to told me to:
` stop crying over the girl
39. I shouldn't have been:
` a cockroach
40. Once, at a bar/club:
` the girl got drunk cos she was happy that she passed
41. Last night:
` the girl got drunk
42. There's this girl I know who:
` always seems to fail her tests
43. There is this guy I know who:
` keeps crying over the lousy grades of a certain girl
44. A better name for me would be:
` cry baby
45. If I ever go
` to the hospital cos of dehydration, remind me to drink more water before i cry
loved a girl
2. Never in my life have I:
` loved a girl so much
3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then
can always make me smile:
`is the girl
4. High School is/was:
` all about the girl
5. When I'm nervous:
` i dream about the girl
6. The last time I cried was:
` when the girl failed her spelling test
7. If I were to get married RIGHT NOW my
bridesmaids/groomsmen would be:
` the parents of the girl
8. My hair is:
`the color of the pencilcase of the girl
9. My feet are:
` larger than the girl's
10. When I was 5:
` i just got to know the girl
11. Last Christmas:
` i asked santa claus to let the girl pass her future tests
12. When I turn my head left, I see :
` the girl
13. When I turn my head right, I see:
` still the girl
14. When I look down I see:
` the feet of the girl
15. The craziest recent event was:
` when i cried cos the girl failed her test
16. If I was a character on 'Friends' I'd be:
` joey but the girl has to star beside me as well
17. By this time next year:
` i hope santa claus made my wish on christmas come true and the girl will pass her test
19. I have a hard time understanding:
` how the girl failed her test
20. One time at a family gathering:
`i told my mom i'll marry the girl
21. You know I "like" you if:
`you failed the test just like that girl and i cry for you cos of that reason
22. If I won an award, the first person I'd thank is:
` God followed by the girl cos she inspired me not to fail in this award or she'll cry
23. Take my advice:
` Dun cry when a girl fails her test
24. My ideal breakfast is:
` eating cereals with the girl's face on it
25. If you visit my hometown:
` you can find statues of the girl everywhere
26. Where do you plan to visit anytime soon:
` the girl's hometown
27. Girls are:
` amazing creatures
28. I'd stop my wedding if:
` the girl called off the marriage due to her lousy test grades
29. The world could do without:
` tests which would lead the girl to fail it and me to cry for her
30. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than:
` wishing the girl would pass cos it'll never happen and i'll keep crying
31. Most recent thing you've bought yourself :
` lots of test papers so i can tutor the girl
32. Most recent thing someone else bought you:
` lots of boxes of tissues
33. My favorite time of day is:
` morning so i won't be disturbed by the news of the girl failing her test
34. My favorite store is:
` watsons(lots of tissue)
35. My favorite ringtone is:
` hearing my own sobs of exasperation
36. And by the way:
` this quiz has lots of questions
37. The last time I was high:
` was when the girl scored 50 out of 100
38. The person who I last talked to told me to:
` stop crying over the girl
39. I shouldn't have been:
` a cockroach
40. Once, at a bar/club:
` the girl got drunk cos she was happy that she passed
41. Last night:
` the girl got drunk
42. There's this girl I know who:
` always seems to fail her tests
43. There is this guy I know who:
` keeps crying over the lousy grades of a certain girl
44. A better name for me would be:
` cry baby
45. If I ever go
` to the hospital cos of dehydration, remind me to drink more water before i cry
Oww. My stomach hurts. I shall attempt to do this in a more dignified manner than in which he did it.
1. I once:
`had a goldfish
2. Never in my life have I:
` seen a golden coloured fish
3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then
can always make me smile:
`the person who gave me the goldfish
4. High School is/was:
` dissecting goldfishes in biology
5. When I'm nervous:
` i remember that goldfishes cannot pee in their pants
6. The last time I cried was:
` when my goldfish didn't wave to me when i said hi
7. If I were to get married RIGHT NOW my
bridesmaids/groomsmen would be:
` the reincarnated human form of my goldfish's parents
8. My hair is:
`as gold as the goldfish
`had a goldfish
2. Never in my life have I:
` seen a golden coloured fish
3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then
can always make me smile:
`the person who gave me the goldfish
4. High School is/was:
` dissecting goldfishes in biology
5. When I'm nervous:
` i remember that goldfishes cannot pee in their pants
6. The last time I cried was:
` when my goldfish didn't wave to me when i said hi
7. If I were to get married RIGHT NOW my
bridesmaids/groomsmen would be:
` the reincarnated human form of my goldfish's parents
8. My hair is:
`as gold as the goldfish
9. My feet are:
` bigger than the goldfish
10. When I was 5:
` i wanted a greenfish and a bluefish and a purplefish and a...
11. Last Christmas:
` i asked Santa to find a soulmate for my fish
` bigger than the goldfish
10. When I was 5:
` i wanted a greenfish and a bluefish and a purplefish and a...
11. Last Christmas:
` i asked Santa to find a soulmate for my fish
12. When I turn my head left, I see :
` my goldfish
13. When I turn my head right, I see:
` my fish i ate for dinner
14. When I look down I see:
` the floor on which the goldfish's bowl is placed upon
15. The craziest recent event was:
` the goldfish farted. i saw bubbles in the bowl.
` my goldfish
13. When I turn my head right, I see:
` my fish i ate for dinner
14. When I look down I see:
` the floor on which the goldfish's bowl is placed upon
15. The craziest recent event was:
` the goldfish farted. i saw bubbles in the bowl.
16. If I was a character on 'Friends' I'd be:
` joey, but i'd keep a goldfish
17. By this time next year:
` i hope santa claus made my wish on christmas come true and my goldfish will experience marital bliss
19. I have a hard time understanding:
` how goldfish pee
20. One time at a family gathering:
`my cousin asked if he could bowl with the goldfish's fish bowl
` joey, but i'd keep a goldfish
17. By this time next year:
` i hope santa claus made my wish on christmas come true and my goldfish will experience marital bliss
19. I have a hard time understanding:
` how goldfish pee
20. One time at a family gathering:
`my cousin asked if he could bowl with the goldfish's fish bowl
21. You know I "like" you if:
`i offer you fish food
22. If I won an award, the first person I'd thank is:
` God - he created my goldfish
23. Take my advice:
` gold is a sexy colour
24. My ideal breakfast is:
` fish flakes
25. If you visit my hometown:
` you'd wish you were a goldfish too
26. Where do you plan to visit anytime soon:
` fish & co, i heard they have nice gold coloured battered fish there, i wonder what it means...
27. Girls are:
` fishes
28. I'd stop my wedding if:
` my goldfish shakes its tail
29. The world could do without:
` silverfish - they compete for medals with my goldfish
30. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than:
` ever meet a bronzefish
31. Most recent thing you've bought yourself :
` a golden full body swimsuit. i can go swimming with my goldfish
`i offer you fish food
22. If I won an award, the first person I'd thank is:
` God - he created my goldfish
23. Take my advice:
` gold is a sexy colour
24. My ideal breakfast is:
` fish flakes
25. If you visit my hometown:
` you'd wish you were a goldfish too
26. Where do you plan to visit anytime soon:
` fish & co, i heard they have nice gold coloured battered fish there, i wonder what it means...
27. Girls are:
` fishes
28. I'd stop my wedding if:
` my goldfish shakes its tail
29. The world could do without:
` silverfish - they compete for medals with my goldfish
30. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than:
` ever meet a bronzefish
31. Most recent thing you've bought yourself :
` a golden full body swimsuit. i can go swimming with my goldfish
32. Most recent thing someone else bought you:
` the swimming pool
33. My favorite time of day is:
` anything my goldfish waves at me
34. My favorite store is:
` fish & co, although i've never seen their nice golden fish. i wonder if they make good friends for my goldfish.
35. My favorite ringtone is:
` bloopbloopbloop
36. And by the way:
` my goldfish is sexy
37. The last time I was high:
` when my goldfish won the aquarium olympics - 4 laps around the circumference of the fish bowl
38. The person who I last talked to told me to:
` find a mate for my fish
39. I shouldn't have been:
` human, then i can marry my fish
40. Once, at a bar/club:
` my goldfish got drunk because i put it in my beer
` the swimming pool
33. My favorite time of day is:
` anything my goldfish waves at me
34. My favorite store is:
` fish & co, although i've never seen their nice golden fish. i wonder if they make good friends for my goldfish.
35. My favorite ringtone is:
` bloopbloopbloop
36. And by the way:
` my goldfish is sexy
37. The last time I was high:
` when my goldfish won the aquarium olympics - 4 laps around the circumference of the fish bowl
38. The person who I last talked to told me to:
` find a mate for my fish
39. I shouldn't have been:
` human, then i can marry my fish
40. Once, at a bar/club:
` my goldfish got drunk because i put it in my beer
41. Last night
` my goldfish didn't sleep. its eyes were wide the whole time.
42. There's this girl I know who:
` has silverfish and detests my goldfish because it's much nicer than her silverfish
43. There is this guy I know who:
` has a sexy goldfish
44. A better name for me would be:
` goldmember
45. If I ever go
` to heaven, i will ask God to grant my goldfish eternal life and a pair of wings.
See? It's much better!
` my goldfish didn't sleep. its eyes were wide the whole time.
42. There's this girl I know who:
` has silverfish and detests my goldfish because it's much nicer than her silverfish
43. There is this guy I know who:
` has a sexy goldfish
44. A better name for me would be:
` goldmember
45. If I ever go
` to heaven, i will ask God to grant my goldfish eternal life and a pair of wings.
See? It's much better!
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Words Have Consequences
They do.
When will anyone around me start realising that? Okay, maybe not everyone's like that, but it is the overwhelming majority of teenyboppers that annoy me. Rumour after rumour; gossip after gossip; sometimes it gets so widespread people do believe the lies, maybe at times, even myself.
We all know the saying that compares the pen to the sword, but words will always be sharper than any blade that anyone will ever wield. Why? The wounds we cause by our words are not physical. There is not direct remedy for them, and most of the time, they're just swept under and hidden, and we move on pretending that the events never happened and the people never existed.
Yet, ironically, the same words that are used to tear someone down are used to comfort, to affirm. And I firmly believe in affirmation. No, I'm not a narcissist who needs to further inflate my ego, but rather, it gives you the conviction and the confirmation to know that you are doing something right; to continue doing it, and not give up. That is why I guess I treasure those letters and notes from Sis alot - because she makes me realise that I'm going in the right direction; that whatever discouragement comes my way, she'll be there for me.
And words can be so mechanical at times. We have SMS, MSN, ICQ and other means of communcation that everything grows so cold nowadays. Close friends can testify that I'd go down to the other ends of Singapore to meet them face to face, instead of choosing to communicate through such mediums. Everyone around seems so cold lately. Maybe it's the Sec4 syndrome - everyone's stressed out over the O's which aren't arriving anytime soon. The RG girls are dying from work, even though they're not taking their O's. Charmaine doesn't even have time to take a phone call, and Melissa's ranting on about work in upper secondary being a killer. Yeah. The holidays would be a good time to catch up with people, especially those dearly loved.
Somehow I feel I could blog a whole thesis on the 5 love languages, but I don't think I shall. I feel at times I break most stereotypes of being male, or being a guy. As strange as it sounds, I guess one way to really make my day is to give me a hug. Seriously. Bronson would know, especially when I'm down. It's the physical presence of having someone who cares which makes you feel secure; makes you feel loved. And more often than not I guess I break down in those moments.
Just like I feel I'm going to soon. It's 2 weeks to the holidays. I don't intend to carry such baggage to school. And the irony is that the burden that I'm carrying isn't mine per se. It isn't mine to solve. It's someone else's. Yet once again I'm tied down by the things that bother friends worth dying for, and I make (sometimes) empty promises of walking it through with them, and so often I'm caught up in trying to deal with those issues that I forget they aren't my own.
Electives start tomorrow. I hope it'll be a good two weeks of much needed rest...
When will anyone around me start realising that? Okay, maybe not everyone's like that, but it is the overwhelming majority of teenyboppers that annoy me. Rumour after rumour; gossip after gossip; sometimes it gets so widespread people do believe the lies, maybe at times, even myself.
We all know the saying that compares the pen to the sword, but words will always be sharper than any blade that anyone will ever wield. Why? The wounds we cause by our words are not physical. There is not direct remedy for them, and most of the time, they're just swept under and hidden, and we move on pretending that the events never happened and the people never existed.
Yet, ironically, the same words that are used to tear someone down are used to comfort, to affirm. And I firmly believe in affirmation. No, I'm not a narcissist who needs to further inflate my ego, but rather, it gives you the conviction and the confirmation to know that you are doing something right; to continue doing it, and not give up. That is why I guess I treasure those letters and notes from Sis alot - because she makes me realise that I'm going in the right direction; that whatever discouragement comes my way, she'll be there for me.
And words can be so mechanical at times. We have SMS, MSN, ICQ and other means of communcation that everything grows so cold nowadays. Close friends can testify that I'd go down to the other ends of Singapore to meet them face to face, instead of choosing to communicate through such mediums. Everyone around seems so cold lately. Maybe it's the Sec4 syndrome - everyone's stressed out over the O's which aren't arriving anytime soon. The RG girls are dying from work, even though they're not taking their O's. Charmaine doesn't even have time to take a phone call, and Melissa's ranting on about work in upper secondary being a killer. Yeah. The holidays would be a good time to catch up with people, especially those dearly loved.
Somehow I feel I could blog a whole thesis on the 5 love languages, but I don't think I shall. I feel at times I break most stereotypes of being male, or being a guy. As strange as it sounds, I guess one way to really make my day is to give me a hug. Seriously. Bronson would know, especially when I'm down. It's the physical presence of having someone who cares which makes you feel secure; makes you feel loved. And more often than not I guess I break down in those moments.
Just like I feel I'm going to soon. It's 2 weeks to the holidays. I don't intend to carry such baggage to school. And the irony is that the burden that I'm carrying isn't mine per se. It isn't mine to solve. It's someone else's. Yet once again I'm tied down by the things that bother friends worth dying for, and I make (sometimes) empty promises of walking it through with them, and so often I'm caught up in trying to deal with those issues that I forget they aren't my own.
Electives start tomorrow. I hope it'll be a good two weeks of much needed rest...
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Childhood Fantasies
I've effectively blocked off all forms of disturbances from 6pm-6.30pm. During that time, I will be on my couch watching Transformers on Kids Central. And yes, I am turning 16 soon.
I never knew they were showing a re-run of one of the later adaptations of the storyline, until I chanced upon it a few weeks back. I'm in the process of digging up my old collection of Transformers robots and reliving the days where I spent hours recreating episode after episode. I think I have more than a $1,000 worth of Transformers robots. The combiner robots are exceptionally intriguing.
Perhaps it's another guy thing; Sis can never understand my fascination with robots that take on the form of vehicles and jetplanes. But what I like so much about the series - be it televised or the comic version - is that it appeals to all age groups, because there are issues that they deal with: loyalty, trust, ethics, friendship, and identity (which is so prevalent now that I'm watching it again). Think about it, why do they have names? What are they searching for - just to protect or destroy Earth? I don't think so.
There's up to Season VIII, but each collection sells at $50. I've bought Season I already, last year in fact. I think I shall start saving $350. That's less than 2 months' allowance. I shall start fasting!
I never knew they were showing a re-run of one of the later adaptations of the storyline, until I chanced upon it a few weeks back. I'm in the process of digging up my old collection of Transformers robots and reliving the days where I spent hours recreating episode after episode. I think I have more than a $1,000 worth of Transformers robots. The combiner robots are exceptionally intriguing.
Perhaps it's another guy thing; Sis can never understand my fascination with robots that take on the form of vehicles and jetplanes. But what I like so much about the series - be it televised or the comic version - is that it appeals to all age groups, because there are issues that they deal with: loyalty, trust, ethics, friendship, and identity (which is so prevalent now that I'm watching it again). Think about it, why do they have names? What are they searching for - just to protect or destroy Earth? I don't think so.
There's up to Season VIII, but each collection sells at $50. I've bought Season I already, last year in fact. I think I shall start saving $350. That's less than 2 months' allowance. I shall start fasting!
Monday, February 20, 2006
Monday Blues
It's another 4 more days till the end of my 8 week academic term, and the electives begin...
Here's to making it to the end of the week.
Here's to making it to the end of the week.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
